Because I have terrible hyper pigmentation, I tell Mom I’d like to see a facialist. She refers me to Mariela at Vitality Spa near Momi off Tumba Muerto. I arrive at Vitality — located above a car mechanic shop — and take direction to ascend the stairs and go to the first door on the right. I knock and a young woman opens the door but does not let me in. She simple pokes her head out making me uncertain as to whether I’m in the right place. “Tengo una cita con Mariela,” I announce. “Ah, si, puedes entrar,” she says and let’s me in. I’m grateful I don’t have to spend more than 5 minutes in the waiting room since the large wall-mounted flat screen TV playing Latin rock videos interferes with me settling into spa chi.
Once inside the room, I lay on my back on a table and Mariela begins the facial. After a few minutes, the music video distraction is joined by even more noise. Assistant begins watching YouTube videos in the hallway outside of my room. Thanks to make-shift walls that don’t reach the ceiling and the loud volume, I can hear Assistant’s computer as if I’m sitting right at her desk. I’m sufficiently miffed by this that I ask Mariela to turn the volume down but I mistakenly say something about the television instead of the computer before she leaves the room. The disruption decreases from 2 sources to 1, but unfortunately for me, the computer is located much closer than the TV; with the TV off I can hear the computer even more clearly. I decide not to be a nag so I don’t mention it again.Eventually, I kind of drift off to sleep — only to be startled awake after one video ends and another begins at an even higher volume. Assistant immediately turns the volume down to its previous — still somewhat high — level. Finally, my treatment ends and I’m free to go. As I pass Assistant’s desk on the way out, I notice the YouTube video title: “Como Tener Pompis Enorme…Sin Cirugia” or “How to Have an Enormous Butt…Without Surgery.” Really? I’m pretty sure this is not on-the-job training. I would be embarrassed to watch this video at work at a volume loud enough for others — especially customers — to hear. And apparently Assistant is too since she giggles as I stop to note the video title. I’m making up that Assistant needs to get headphones before building a bigger booty. Next time I’m going to the Westin…